Like A Grown Up

I guess technically I've been a grown up for a long time now, but it hasn't been until the last couple years that I've honestly felt somewhat like one. There's nothing like driving home for Christmas to Chicago by myself that makes me feel more like a big kid. Well at least nothing as enjoyable. Every other big kid duty involves me writing checks to corporations.

Yesterday I made the 8 hour trek from Nashville to Chicago in my little Honda Civic. I woke up at 7:30 a.m. paid those corporations that needed to be paid and like a grown up, packed my clean clothes and my dirty clothes that I didn't have time to wash because I'm a grown up and I have other grown up things to do like watch a movie. I finally got on the road at 10 after making a detour to vacuum the unused loose leaf tea that spilled all over the floorboard of the passenger side of my car. The gas station didn't have a vacuum so I still have tea on the floor boards....because I'm a grown up....

Everything was going great. I was making good time, listening to Good Wives (the sequel to Little Women) audio book on my iPod, and enjoying the euphoric feeling of driving home for Christmas. Am I the only one that get's that feeling?

I stopped in Salem, IL to fill up on gas and use the rest room. I stop at the same gas station every time I go home. At first I didn't even realize I was doing that, but now it's become a tradition. Like the good nurse's daughter that I am (and civilized human being), I washed my hands after using the bathroom and like the paranoid nurse's daughter I am, I used my coat to shut off the faucet. As I did this my iPhone slipped from my coat pocket into a full sink of water and was completely submerged.

They say in times of emergency your adrenaline kicks in and you have super human strength. I once heard a story of a mother lifting the end of a car off the ground to save her son. Well my iPhone is not nearly as valuable as a child, and I didn't do anything that dramatic but without thinking twice, I whipped that phone out of the sink and shoved it under a hand dryer. Driving home by myself is not a good time to be without a phone.

Miraculously, I could still text but was unsure if I could make calls. I called my mom to see if I still could use the phone feature and my mom couldn't hear me. Great. Because I just wrote checks to those corporations and I'm off of work for a week there was no way that I was going to be able to buy a new phone and beside that, I still had 5 hours left to go. Like I said, my texting still worked so in my despair I sent my boyfriend, Jonathan, a "I hate my life" sort of text and he responded by saying "Get a bag of rice right now and put your phone in it." because that's his stock answer whenever I have a problem. It's like his Windex. (That was a reference to My Big Fat Greek Wedding and no, Jonathan does not tell me to shove my phone in rice anytime something bad happens.)

Anyways, as Bill Cosby says in his Noah skit- Riiiiiighhht. I'm in Southern IL. It's 50 miles to the next town. Immediately was not going to happen. But then there was Effingham. Yes. Effingham.

I pulled off in the fair city of Effingham, ran into Walgreen's and when they didn't have any rice, got directions to the nearest grocery store. Save-A-Lot. Yes. Save-A-Lot in Effingham where the customers in the parking lot all wear cameo and the clerk at the checkout asks me why I'm buying a bag of rice..... at the grocery store.

I purchased the rice and carefully inserted my phone in the bag and let it sit there for a couple hours. I would have let it set longer but I had to fish it out in order to call my dad to find out if I missed my exit. This fishing caused rice to fly everywhere so now I have tea on the floor and rice in my seat which sounds like the title to an Asian country song.

And guess what? It worked! My phone works and I'm home and enjoying not feeling like an adult and feeling like a kid at my parents' house. I hope you enjoyed my little adventure.

Have a very Merry Christmas and stay turned to the premier of the chart topping hit "I Have Tea On the Floor and Rice On My Seat".