Way Busy

So the past few weeks for me have been insanely busy. Between Cornerstone work, HM work, Mo Leverett work, and side projects for John, I feel like I will never finish. I've also been trying to balance church functions, youth group, small group, the little community we've got going on here, my spiritual life (on the down slope kids-read 2 blogs ago), the Thompson Family, visitors from home, concerts for work, and a relationship. I don't say all of this to get sympathy or to play let's see who's the busiest, I say this purely because I've come to the conclusion with a lot of help from James that I can't do it all.

I'm a major people pleaser and I have a really hard time saying no to anything. For some reason I have it in my head that if I don't do it no one will and then it won't get done. How self-centered of me. Honestly I'm not super stressed right now. I get stressed when someone else asks me to go somewhere or do something because rather than saying no, I start rearranging my schedule so that I can work them in. This is why I know that I'm too busy. I don't want to work people in. I want to be there whenever they need me. I know that is not always going to happen but I want it to be able to work the majority of the time.

I really feel that God brought me here to establish a community amongst people of my age group. When I first moved down here I waited and waited for people to invite me into their lives and there were a few that did and I thank God for them (Peter and Whitney, Danielle), but I was disappointed to see that people really weren't reaching out to me. One day Michelle and I sat down and decided that if we were going to have friends here, we were going to have to be the ones to start reaching out. If they weren't going to start coming to us we were going to go to them and with God's help I started doing that. It seems that everyone here wants community so badly but so many of them are scared to take the step to reach out. So I started inviting people over and introducing them to each other. One night I had I believe like 13 people over to the house to eat and hang out. It was wonderful and everyone kept saying how much they wanted to do it again.

I don't think that I'm God's gift to Nashville and I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, but I really feel that God brought me hear to link people together. I hate the word networking because it seems so slimy but I guess I'm kind of a networker down here.

Because I have been so busy, I feel like I've not been as active in this area of my life and I really miss it. This lead me to write the youth leader at Village 2 days ago and tell him that I could no longer help out with the youth group. This was probably one of the top 10 hardest things that I've had to do for 2 reasons- 1. Letting someone down. 2. Admitting that I couldn't do it.

Also this week, Mo and Gyroscope parted ways so that Mo could focus his money in other areas of his ministry. This was also hard for me because Mo and Rebirth are what brought me down to Nashville in the first place and this marks the end of that period in my life.

To try to sum this up...I miss you all. Thanks for being my friends.

On another somewhat related note-

My boss John J Thompson has just started up a blog called Thirty Three and a Third; Slow down and listen. He'll be talking about music, the Bible, the music business and anything else that slips into the faith / art / family vortex of his life. I personally love John's writing style and I thought a lot of you would be interested in this. His first blog is on the late Larry Norman http://johnjthompson.blogspot.com/.

Many of you may know John and not even realize it. He has been a presence in the Christian music scene since the mid 80s. You may have read his magazine (True Tunes News), been to his store in Wheaton, IL (True Tunes), been to his venue (Upstairs at True Tunes), read his book (Raised by Wolves), read one of his many articles, or even seen him working at Cornerstone. Currently John is the Creative Director at EMI CMG Publishing and President of Gyroscope Arts Inc. If you are really curious, you can read his bio at myspace.com/johnjthompson.

Also you should definitely check out Doug Van Pelt's blog. He recently went on a trip with Compassion International to Uganda. It's a REALLY good read.
http://www.hmmagazine.com/blogs/doug/

Something to Make you Laugh

These are people from my church and this in their entry into TN's 2007 48 Hour Film Project. It won Best Overall Film, Best Comedy, Best Sound Editing, the Audience Choice Award, Runner Up: Director, Runner Up: Screen Play, Honorable Mention: Editing. Please enjoy. I find it hilarious.

The Element of Change

It has been a really long time since I last wrote! Many things have changed and today while waiting for my computer to install 13 updates before it will reboot (we're at 2 of 13 and it's taken 15 minutes to get that far), I find myself thinking about how I've let myself slip back into passivity.

I moved to Nashville almost a year ago. April 10th marks the day that the car pulled away from familiarity. The first few months here were hell. I felt like I was having an out of body experience as if I was watching my life but not participating in it. The best way that I can possibly describe it is a dreamlike state. Have you ever had a dream that feels so real but yet so inconceivable at the same time? You can feel the emotions, you can comprehend and understand who the people are around you, you sense who they are, but you can never fully see them. You know that it's them, everything in you tells you that it's them, you wake up and you even tell so and so that you had a dream with them in it, but yet in the dream, they are still hazy figures of the people that you know they are. Maybe your dreams aren't like that, but mine are and within my first few months here, my life was a haze. The only person that I fully saw was myself.

It's amazing how unfamiliar change (with a little help from adrenaline and a lot of help from God) can go from disconnection to extreme alertness. Hard times and tragedy bring even unbelievers to their knees at some point and for me, that's the case as well. God lifted the haze and provided the friends that I now hold dear and through them the encouragement that I needed.

Hurray right? Honestly, praise God, but because like everyone else I take good things for granted and when comfort comes so does passivity and complacency. These are two words that too often describe my spiritual life. Below is a very precise diagram.I am now in the midst of another change. From the start it is been a good change, but it's comfortable change and I have a choice to make. I can embrace this for all it's worth or I can idly sit by and just go through the motions. I know that this is an opportunity for God to reveal things about me that need to be altered, to learn how my life affects others, but so far, I feel as though I'm just comfortably sitting by and not letting myself be challenged. I want this change to be an alert change, not a hazy one. Most importantly I know that I need to make a choice to give this over to God and I know that he will guide me through everything. Pray for me.

I leave you with a quote from Brennan Manning (from the Signature of Jesus...a book that I've been reading for almost 2 years...I know, shameful).

"When we are seized by the power of great affection, we are empowered with the courage to risk"