Building Others Up

So here I sit in my room...on my bed amongst my whole wardrobe that needs to be folded. It's getting close to fall here although the weather of late is not reflecting that. But because fall is around the corner I had to run out to Target and buy a fall smelling candle. After 3o minutes of getting high off of scented wax, I opted for the Pumpkin/Orange/Something-or-other candle. It is currently lit and smells like...pumpkin/orange/something-or-other. The only thing that would make this situation perfect would be a cup of hot apple cider, a Norah Jones' CD, and a sweater...and the clothes being off my bed magically folded in their proper place. Oh, and being outside under a starry sky...but to quote The Jerk "that's all I need".

Tonight was my 2nd Woman's Ministry Bible Study. I didn't want to go. I was in a bad mood (for no reason..just wanted to be in one. I'm a girl and therefore I'm entitled to being in a bad mood every once in awhile because I have girl emotions..okay so not really, but you wouldn't have been able to convince me of that earlier) before leaving and I kept tying to convince Michelle (she was grumpy too) that we should blow Bible Study off and be grumpy and disagreeable at a coffee shop. Well we were good and went. I know that I had a sour expression on my face when I walked in because Michelle was laughing at me.

The discussion we are doing is called Five Smooth Stones in reference to the five smooth stones David choose to defeat Goliath and

1 Timothy 4:7-8 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

and in regards to godliness we are studying this verse 11b ...but set an example for the believers in speech, life, in love, in faith, and in purity.

So we are discussing how as women speech, life, love, faith, and purity apply to our being godly and tonight was speech and I was grumpy.

It was awesome. This is definitely an area were I struggle. I too often forget the power of words in our lives. Ephesians 4:25 says

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.

There is so much that I can touch on there, but I will refrain from talking about everything that comes to mind. Probably the biggest thing that stood out to me tonight was self talk (which I've mentioned as a weakness before) and Bad words.

I would say that 2/3 of the things that I say are not building others up or benefiting those who listen, but building me up and benefiting me. Kim said that bad words (not just profane language although that's part of it) do not release the power of the Gospel in the moment and the leave the stink of self.

I came to realize tonight (again, nothing I say is original and I would never claim that it is) that without the Holy Spirit, I'm so focused on my agenda and what makes me feel good I'm not capable of saying things that build others up according to there needs or benefiting those who listen. I know that I will never be perfect, but I pray that I will be so in tune with God that I can become a woman of God that lets the Holy Spirit filtrate everything I say so that what comes out of my mouth is not self promotion, but what Kim said "unveils the hidden Gospel in the moment and leaves the scent of Christ". I know that this will never be perfected until God calls me home, but I'm going to strive to let God control my speech. Wouldn't that make me an awesome wife someday? Hmm another reason that God is keeping me single for now perhaps?

I guess I'm learning a lot about what Dying to Myself means lately.