Building Others Up

So here I sit in my room...on my bed amongst my whole wardrobe that needs to be folded. It's getting close to fall here although the weather of late is not reflecting that. But because fall is around the corner I had to run out to Target and buy a fall smelling candle. After 3o minutes of getting high off of scented wax, I opted for the Pumpkin/Orange/Something-or-other candle. It is currently lit and smells like...pumpkin/orange/something-or-other. The only thing that would make this situation perfect would be a cup of hot apple cider, a Norah Jones' CD, and a sweater...and the clothes being off my bed magically folded in their proper place. Oh, and being outside under a starry sky...but to quote The Jerk "that's all I need".

Tonight was my 2nd Woman's Ministry Bible Study. I didn't want to go. I was in a bad mood (for no reason..just wanted to be in one. I'm a girl and therefore I'm entitled to being in a bad mood every once in awhile because I have girl emotions..okay so not really, but you wouldn't have been able to convince me of that earlier) before leaving and I kept tying to convince Michelle (she was grumpy too) that we should blow Bible Study off and be grumpy and disagreeable at a coffee shop. Well we were good and went. I know that I had a sour expression on my face when I walked in because Michelle was laughing at me.

The discussion we are doing is called Five Smooth Stones in reference to the five smooth stones David choose to defeat Goliath and

1 Timothy 4:7-8 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

and in regards to godliness we are studying this verse 11b ...but set an example for the believers in speech, life, in love, in faith, and in purity.

So we are discussing how as women speech, life, love, faith, and purity apply to our being godly and tonight was speech and I was grumpy.

It was awesome. This is definitely an area were I struggle. I too often forget the power of words in our lives. Ephesians 4:25 says

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.

There is so much that I can touch on there, but I will refrain from talking about everything that comes to mind. Probably the biggest thing that stood out to me tonight was self talk (which I've mentioned as a weakness before) and Bad words.

I would say that 2/3 of the things that I say are not building others up or benefiting those who listen, but building me up and benefiting me. Kim said that bad words (not just profane language although that's part of it) do not release the power of the Gospel in the moment and the leave the stink of self.

I came to realize tonight (again, nothing I say is original and I would never claim that it is) that without the Holy Spirit, I'm so focused on my agenda and what makes me feel good I'm not capable of saying things that build others up according to there needs or benefiting those who listen. I know that I will never be perfect, but I pray that I will be so in tune with God that I can become a woman of God that lets the Holy Spirit filtrate everything I say so that what comes out of my mouth is not self promotion, but what Kim said "unveils the hidden Gospel in the moment and leaves the scent of Christ". I know that this will never be perfected until God calls me home, but I'm going to strive to let God control my speech. Wouldn't that make me an awesome wife someday? Hmm another reason that God is keeping me single for now perhaps?

I guess I'm learning a lot about what Dying to Myself means lately.

Community

So this my friend is Nashville's very own Parthenon. There's a somewhat legitimate reason as to why we have a Parthenon, but that is a story for another day. I put a photo of it because I spent Sunday afternoon at Centennial Park (that's where this monstrosity is located) beneath a tree with a sandwich and my Brennan Manning book. It was wonderful!

This past Thursday we had our first small group at the house. When John and Michelle first looked at the house, one of the features that excited them the most was the carport because it is the perfect place to have outdoor gatherings. And it has been. We have it decked out in red and white Christmas lights, have tiki torches lit throughout the yard, candles, and usually have a ton of coffee available. To me, this is what heaven will be like. No joke. Or the perfect date. Christmas lights and coffee and I'm happy. We had around 12 people show-up. It was bitter sweet because it made me realize how far my relationships with all of you back home had come

In The Signature of Jesus (the book I'm currently reading) Manning has a lot to say about the importance of community. I found these to be really insightful-

"Today we need small bands of people who take the gospel at face value, who realize what God is doing in our time and who are living proof of what it means to be in the world but not of the world. These "base communities or neighborhood churches should be small enough for intimacy, kindred enough for acceptance, and gentle enough for criticism. Gathered in the name of Jesus, the community empowers us to incarnate in our lives what we believe in our hearts and proclaim with our lips"

God help me to be able to be this way in every part of my life, in every conversation whether it be deep or lighthearted, and in every situation. I think Manning sums up a lot about why community is so vital.

I also really like this quote by Scott Peck "There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace - and ultimately no life - without community"

Vulnerability is so essential to our spiritual growth. The sooner that we admit that we don't have it all together, the sooner we allow Christ to change us and others to help us. We aren't perfect, we aren't superhuman, and we all have a lot of baggage. We might as well be honest with each other and continue growing. What is the true but somewhat cliche phrase?- "The first step is to admit that you have a problem"

Well community is starting for me here. Tuesday I have woman's ministry at church, Wednesday I have girl's night here at the house, and Thursday we have small group. This weekend my incredible friends the Miller's will be visiting. Thank you Lord for making us yearn for Community. It would be pretty darn boring to go through life alone.

Life as a Single 25 year old Female

This first picture is from several weeks back. My camera battery died while I was taking it, so it isn't the greatest image ever, but it does contain photographic evidence to blackmail both Wesley and James with. Here's the story-

One night Michelle and I decided to take over the TV yet again to watch one of our girl movies. This is usually how it happens-

Erin: "Michelle hey why don't we watch an English period drama for the hundredth time"
Michelle: "Yay" I'm not able to describe the Michelle face that goes along with this, but if you know her, you've seen it.
John: "What are you guys watching? Oh gosh, I'm going to bed"

So this was one of those nights. John had taken Jordan to some Emo/Goth/Hardcore such and such band concert that night and Michelle and I rented Wuthering Heights, but this time Michelle had the bright idea to call James and flat out ask him to watch a girl movie with us. The stupid-head agreed and said he'd come over knowing full well what he was getting himself into....well not quite.

While James is innocently making his way over to the Thompson's, Michelle, Trinity and I got the bright idea of putting on Michelle's old prom dresses. This was done with a lot of what one might call giggling and when James arrived, we awaited him on the couch in our 80's prom dresses (mine was actually a 1960's dress that one of Michelle's mom's bridesmaids wore) and tea cups and saucers in hand. At first James didn't notice because I would (and I might) wear that green dress on a normal day (it was really cool), but I think when he saw Michelle wearing her big poofy pink 80's prom dress (over her jeans and hoodie), he was a little freaked out. Wesley later joined the festivities wearing my mother's bridesmaid dress and we made James drink his Gatorade out of a pink polka dot cup with matching saucer.

Wesley and I have been watching Lost together in my room at night. It has been a lot of fun, but makes me regret not taking the time to do this sort of thing with my real little brother. Tonight we watched some more of season two and when we finished, I had to drag him out of my room 3 times before he would go to bed. He is an AMAZING kid and I adore him. I don't know what I would have done when I first moved here if the Thompson kids weren't around. We've spent a lot of time together and so far I think we all still like each other.

The Foolish Things

1 Corinthians 1:27-29 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that aren't - to nullify the things that are so that no one may boast before him.



I love how "out of whack" God chooses to do things. I can't get over how we (the church) so often judge the abilities of a person and decide that that they are not capable of doing God's work. This decision a lot of times is not based on what is Biblical, but on what we find is appropriate by OUR standards. I'm guilty of this as much as the next person. We find that person's flaws and because they aren't the perfect example of what a human in ministry should be, we dismiss them. God chooses whom he deems fit, and usually that's not who we would expect. It is so refreshing that the lowest of low can and will further the kingdom and that's how God likes it. For someone that grew up with perfection in mind, it is so amazing how messy spirituality really is.



The Thompson's' arrived home today from Chicago with a new toy for Jesse (the 3 year old) in tow. It's a Caterpillar that is about 2 feet long that moves and plays the same 20 second clip of a song over and over again. He's thrilled. I'm going to hide the batteries.



I just got off the phone with my best friend Julie. I miss her. The girl is amazingly crazy and I love her for it. Michelle told me that Julie thought that I was going to show-up in Illinois and surprise her. She walked around a party looking for me thinking that I was going to jump around some corner and yell "I'm here". That is one of the saddest things that I've heard. I can totally see her doing that. Despite the fact that I wasn't there, I got a Julie card (it had a basset hound on it) and a really beautiful scarf from the Czech Republic (where she went on a mission's trip) and a Japanese cartoon notebook that has a picture of raccoons, a cup of coffee, and smiling marshmallows on it (very Julie as well). I also received a really awesome dress from my mom in the mail today. This part of being away is nice. I never have gotten so many presents.



Here are some pictures that Whitney took on Sunday at the end of the summer party at Zach's house. This is the first party that I've gone to since I moved here that I felt comfortable at and truly enjoyed myself. It was such a great feeling and I was seriously giddy. NO JOKE.
So here are some of the people that you've probably heard me talking about.

Me with a baby. Go Figure.

Preparing the Meal. Which was amazing.

Heidi-Rae and I.

Some of the girls. Whitney, Jami, and Mendy. Yeah, I think I'm going to get along with them just fine.

Dan and I in serious discussion.

Sean and Dan in serious discussion.

The host and hostess. Zach and Bridget.

The pinata broke before anyone even hit it. So we had two pinatas.

Always a great idea to give Jami a metal pole. I haven't known her long, but this much I've gathered.

Peter and Whitney. Yeah they are too cute. Knock it off guys.

A great representation of the night. Good job Whitney!!!

On Being the New Girl

image- Fido's Coffeehouse This is where all the cool people hangout. They have great coffee and awesome music playing overhead so I like to go there to work.


This has been long overdue. Let me just preface this post by saying that I don't claim to be an incredible writer. I don't think that I would even go so far as to say that I'm a decent writer, but I do think that it will be beneficial to me to blog as I have the tendency to go through this world with my fingers in my ears and my eyes shut in order to not have to see all the garbage that is going on. Not only am I missing unpleasant things, but I miss a lot of the simple things that bring great joy to life. All that said, this is not going to be award winning work. Just me being me and hopefully this will be beneficial to the one writing and others reading.

To all those back in Illinois. I miss you so much! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. You are so often in my thoughts that I take for granted that you don't have any clue as to what is going on here. Things are getting better. Actually they are going really well, but that is another topic for another day.

This is especially for my junior high girls back at home- Tonight for the first time in a very long time I did devotions. With the Thompson clan being home in Illinois, the house is especially quite. Too quite. I'm not used to this much silence.

I pulled out the Brennan Manning book that I've been trying to read for the past 6 months and started from the beginning yet again and this is what stuck out. Speaking on what real Christians should act like- "We will find ourselves not on the path to power but on the path to powerlessness; not on the road to success but on the road to servanthood; not on the broad road of praise and popularity but on the narrow road of ridicule and rejection." (The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning).

Galatians 6:14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

Wow.

1. Boasting is something that I'm really good at.
2. The world is still a huge influence in my life.

On boasting. I have struggled with boasting since as long as I can remember. Usually, if not always, it rears it's ugly head when I'm feeling insignificant which... is pretty much all the time.

Last year or maybe even the year before that, I made a point of not telling people that I'm a drummer. I bring that little fact up when I'm feeling out of place or not cool and usually I get instant cool points by saying that I am. It's sick and I hate that about myself!

I was doing fairly well back at home with not feeling the need to puff myself up. I still did it, but day to day there wasn't a need to. Everyone knew me, people cared about me, and for some reason, people even liked to hang out with me despite the fact that I didn't play drums in a band anymore.

Now I'm the new girl, in a very trendy music town, where no one knows me and everyone is WAY cooler than me. Boasting has reared it's ugly head once again trying to get the trendy cool people's attention. I feel so out of place here. Everyone knows someone or is trying to be someone. Everyone has amazing haircuts (I can't even get mine to stay straight in this gosh darn humidity) and cool clothes, and little, dorky, not impressive Erin is lost in the crowd going "hey pay attention to me". But you know what? The more I try to get people's attention, the more lost I feel in this crowd. No matter what I've done, I have nothing to boast about. The trivial little things that I've done in my life are just that, trivial and that's a relief to me because no matter what I do, I'm never going to impress everyone and if I have to impress people to get them to be my friends, heck with it.

John 15:5 ...apart from me (Christ) you can do nothing.

There is no reason for me to boast about anything. Any little bit of good I've done in my life has been Christ's doing, not mine. Everything crappy that I've accomplished is courtesy of yours truly, but God still loves me all the same and continues to use me to do amazing things. My biggest prayer right now is that I will understand how unworthy I am and how blessed I am that God is using me. I pray that he will use me to affect others and that I will be completely oblivious of what "I'm doing" and only see God working through me. Please pray for me to allow God to shape me into what he wants me to be and not try to be the creator myself.