Sitting at the Thompsons

Tonight I spent the evening at the Thompson's house watching a 4 1/2 year old Jesse Thompson. We had a wonderful evening. It's been awhile since Jesse and I have had one of our "dates" and I have forgotten how much I enjoy them.

For those of you that haven't been reading my blog since the beginning of my Chicago to Nashville journey (I think there's 3 of you that read this and you all pretty much know the story), I lived with the Thompson's a year.

I moved down to Nashville with the idea that God was going to do something huge. I was awaiting what that was and while waiting (or honestly while among it because God is always doing something) I fell in love with the magic that I felt here in Nashville. And as I've talked about before everything was supposed to work out in the fashion that I thought it should.

There are a lot of memories here in this house and although I had a great time with Jesse, I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I realize now that I came to Nashville as a little girl and now I'm an adult (maybe I should say reaching adulthood). The Thompson's house was a place of safety for me a stepping block into the real world.

I apologize that these blogs haven't been as cheery as they were in the past. I long for the wide eyed optimism I once had. I know that I shouldn't wish it back because that was a period in my life and this is the current period of my life, but the magic, the dreams that were once there have been replaced with reality. This all sounds really depressing and although I have my moments (a moment spurred this blogging on) I'm actually doing well. Everything right now comes down to trust and trying to dream what God has for me. I want to dream again, but I've learned that my human dreams can crash and burn with more explosive power than a fuel delivery truck (that visual is for all you boys that love the action movies). I want my hope and expectation come from the knowledge that God has a purpose and a plan for me and that He is trustworthy and faithful and loves me more than any human ever could. I want to wait in anxious anticipation for the next thing that He's going to do.